All Things Rachel

A picture of me that Mark Atkinson took about a million years ago.

2005-12-02T13:34:00.000-05:00

Oh, to be young and genetically perfect once more.

To the tune of Frère Jacques

2005-11-24T08:31:00.000-05:00

Next Thanksgiving, next Thanksgiving
Save your bread, save your bread
Shove it up the turkey, shove it up the turkey
Eat the bird, eat the bird.

The Intelligent Designer's Prayer

2005-09-27T16:24:00.000-04:00

It won't help them…
…since there's no one to respond. But reciting the Intelligent Designer's Prayer would be more productive than mucking up our educational system, that's for sure.

Our Intelligent Designer,
Who art in the unspecified-good-place,
Unknown be Thy name.
Thy flagella spin, Thy mousetraps snap,
On Earth, as it is in the
Unspecified-good-place.
Give us each day our unchecked apologetic.
And forgive us our invidious comparisons,
As we smite those iniquitous Darwinists
With rhetoric.
And lead us not into encounters with people
Who ask us to state our theory,
But deliver us from biologists
Who know what we’re up to.
For Thine is the irreducible complexity,
And the wiggly parts of bacterial bottoms,
And the inapplicable theorems,
Now and forever.

Amen.

With God on our side

2005-09-27T16:20:00.000-04:00

From the Times Online in the UK. Apparently, the less devout a nation is, the lower their rates of murder, suicide, sexually transmitted diseases, and abortion are. Who'd a thunk it?

In honor of the march in D.C. yesterday

2005-09-25T17:30:00.000-04:00

i sing of Olaf glad and big
by e.e. cummings

i sing of Olaf glad and big
whose warmest heart recoiled at war:
a conscientious object-or

his wellbelovéd colonel(trig
westpointer most succinctly bred)
took erring Olaf soon in hand;
but — though an host of overjoyed
noncoms(first knocking on the head
him)do through icy waters roll
that helplessness which others stroke
with brushes recently employed
anent this muddy toiletbowl,
while kindred intellects evoke
allegiance per blunt instruments--
Olaf(being to all intents
a corpse and wanting any rag
upon what God unto him gave)
responds,without getting annoyed
"I will not kiss your fucking flag"

straightway the silver bird looked grave
(departing hurriedly to shave)

but--though all kinds of officers
(a yearning nation's blueeyed pride)
their passive prey did kick and curse
until for wear their clarion
voices and boots were much the worse,
and egged the firstclassprivates on
his rectum wickedly to tease
by means of skilfully applied
bayonets roasted hot with heat--
Olaf(upon what were once knees)
does almost ceaselessly repeat
"there is some shit I will not eat"

our president,being of which
assertions duly notified
threw the yellowsonofabitch
into a dungeon,where he died

Christ(of His mercy infinite)
i pray to see;and Olaf,too

preponderatingly because
unless statistics lie he was
more brave than me:more blond than you.

Bill Maher sums it up neatly.

2005-09-17T13:05:00.000-04:00

On Your Watch, We've Lost Almost All Of Our Allies, The Surplus, Four Airliners, Two Trade Centers, A Piece Of The Pentagon And The City Of New Orleans.

Dubya gotta go wee-wee, WEALLY BAD!

2005-09-15T18:46:00.000-04:00

He's the leader of the free world. And he needs permission to go to the bathroom? Oh, how I wish this were a joke. It's real.

Yes, and cat hair comes from cats.

2005-09-07T22:30:00.000-04:00

"We've got to solve problems; we're problem-solvers." And other nuggets of wisdom from our Fearless Leader. The guy's a millionaire. Can't he afford better speech writers? On the other hand, as my old art director Greg used to say, "There's a certain elegance in stating the perfectly obvious." On the other other hand, Greg was fascinated by tautologies.

And, as John Aravosis points out at americablog.com, Bush is investigating himself.

Bush Family Values

2005-09-07T18:19:00.000-04:00

A remarkably prescient article from Mother Jones -- in 1992.

A Card-Carrying Member of the ACLU

2005-09-07T18:16:00.000-04:00

I'm happy to say that I now am one. After I read about the ban on photos of dead bodies, it seemed like a good idea. Get your own card.

Pat Robertson is out of control.

2005-09-07T12:44:00.000-04:00

Again.

This time it's about how lucky Roberts is to have his Supreme Court confirmation hearings held while the nation is reeling from Katrina. If I were the type of person to call for someone's assassination, as Robertson often does, I'd be asking for his head. The man is just plain evil. Fortunately for Robertson, however, I don't run around insisting that people I don't like deserve to die. I'm just quirky that way.

What REALLY happened in New Orleans

2005-09-07T12:31:00.000-04:00

Interesting diary from dKos.

I find dKos a bit overwhelming and unwieldy at times, but by the same token, there's lots of info there. I've added them to my Left Wing Links.

IxNay eThay obertsRay onfirmationCay

2005-09-07T10:20:00.000-04:00

Tell your senators to vote no on Roberts.

This guy has two years of experience as a judge, and none on the Supreme Court. His legal writings have made it abundantly clear that he disagrees with the majority of the country on little things like women's rights, minority rights, and the right to privacy. And he's just fifty years old, which gives him plenty of time to screw up America as we know it. Please, take action on this today.

And be sure to check out Americablog today. Chock full of the freshest outrages committed by our administration.

Have you looked in your toilet lately?

2005-09-06T23:05:00.000-04:00

There's a parrot in there, and he's singing:
I see your hiney
It's nice and shiny
You better hide it
Before I bite it

When I was nine years old, this was the ultimate in crank calls. "Is your refrigerator running?" was just so last year.

And it just makes me wonder — if nine-year olds back in the Seventies knew you needed to keep on eye on your sanitation system, how is it that our government is just now figuring that out in New Orleans? "The water may be contaminated."

Why is this a surprise?

Blogs get spam, too.

2005-09-06T18:54:00.000-04:00

That's why Comments require verification. I'm sure there's some kind of way to work around this, but in the meantime, you guys are smart enough to figure it out.

R.L. Burnside and Bob Denver died

2005-09-06T18:20:00.000-04:00

Bob Denver played Gilligan on "Gilligan's Island".

Here's the write-up on Burnside from the Times.

When life gives you lemons

2005-09-06T13:27:00.000-04:00

A group of pre-teens set up a lemonade stand and made $1,710 in two days for hurricane relief.

This explains the state of the country.

2005-09-05T22:19:00.000-04:00

Barbara Bush, waxing philosophical on the plight of Katrina victims.

I read the transcript on Americablog; here's the audio at Crooks and Liars.

Yummy Ethiopian Food

2005-09-05T19:34:00.000-04:00

Bahir Dar, in lovely historic Hampton, Virginia, has wonderful Ethiopian food. The owners, Demissew and Sinedu Gedamu, are such nice people, and the food is so good.

I usually get #23 (Yebeg Kay Watt, which is lamb in spicy berbere sauce) with side dishes #1 and #7 (Misir Watt and Gomen Watt -- red lentils in berbere sauce and collards). I also had a really delicious beer there last night -- Blue Moon. It's a Belgian White beer.

I've added their website to my links.

Killing me softly with his song

2005-09-05T19:24:00.000-04:00

My man Bush is never more than a few steps behind the rest of us.

Labor Day, and my first blog.

2005-09-05T17:48:00.000-04:00

I'm not exactly sure why I need a blog except that everyone else has one. Hmmm. Maybe I'll just use it as a diary for myself.